Richard Gere

"I know who I am. No one else knows who I am. If I was a giraffe, and someone said I was a snake, I'd think, no, actually I'm a giraffe." - Richard Gere

François de La Rochefoucauld

"Absence diminishes mediocre passions and increases great ones, as the wind extinguishes candles and fans fires." - François de La Rochefoucauld

Bill Hicks

"Folks, it's time to evolve. That's why we're troubled. You know why our institutions are failing us, the church, the state, everything's failing? It's because, um – they're no longer relevant. We're supposed to keep evolving. Evolution did not end with us growing opposable thumbs. You do know that, right? There's another 90 percent of our brains that we have to illuminate." - Bill Hicks, Filling Up the Hump (1993)

Sure we have Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert, but there's no question that the world is worse off for the absence of Bill Hicks. Then again, if the pancreatic cancer hadn't killed him todays politics sure would have.

Gao Xingjian

"When you use words, you're able to keep your mind alive. Writing is my way of reaffirming my own existence." - Gao Xingjian (French/Chinese Writer)

Nicholas Gurewitch

"…that laughter is a cough-like defense that occurs when a reader's cognitive facilities experience a sudden overflow of information -often in the form of a paradox, silly face, or boobie." - Nicholas Gurewitch

Check out his awesome, funny, ironic, vulgar, satirical, hysterical, just plain ingenious web comic: The Perry Bible Fellowship (you won't be sorry)

Robert Frost

"The brain is a wonderful organ. It starts working the moment you get up in the morning and does not stop until you get into the office." - Robert Frost

Plato

"No human thing is of serious importance." - Plato

Richard Bach

"The more I want to get something done, the less I call it work." - Richard Bach

Conversely and not so optimistically, but just as true as ever: The less we want to get something done, the more we call it work.

Jean Paul Richter

"A timid person is frightened before a danger, a coward during the time, and a courageous person afterward." - Jean Paul Richter

W. H. Auden

"We are here on Earth to do good to others. What the others are here for, I don't know." - W. H. Auden

The Taking of Pelham One Two Three (1974), film

"Even great men have to pee." - Lt. Rico Patrone, Joseph Sargent's The Taking of Pelham One Two Three (1974)

Mahatma Gandhi

"If you're going to be a bear, be a grizzly." - Mahatma Gandhi

Short. Simple. And powerful.

Mel Brooks

"Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you walk into an open sewer and die." – Mel Brooks

William H. Mauldin

"I feel like a fugitive from the law of averages." - William H. Mauldin

Bill Lyon

"If at first you don't succeed, find out if the loser gets anything." - Bill Lyon

Mel Brooks

"Humor is just another defense against the universe." - Mel Brooks

Edwin Shlossberg

"The skill of writing is to create a context in which other people can think." - Edwin Schlossberg

John Locke

This quote was suggested by my mom!

"I have always thought the actions of men the best interpreters of their thoughts." - John Locke

Joseph Brodsky

"Every individual ought to know at least on poet from cover to cover: if not as a guide through the world, then as a yardstick for the language." - Joseph Brodsky (Russian-American Poet)

Woody Allen

"Not only is there no God, but try getting a plumber on weekends." - Woody Allen

Bill Cosby

"I don't know the key to success, but the key to failure is trying to please everybody." - Bill Cosby

Robert Mitchum

"Life’s hard. But it’s a lot harder if you’re stupid." – Robert Mitchum, The Friends of Eddie Coyle

Fyodor Dostoevsky

"You may be perfectly sure that if Columbus was happy, it was not after he had discovered America, but when he was discovering it." - Fyodor Dostoevsky, The Idiot (Book 3, Chapter 6)

George Carlin

"I'm not concerned about all hell breaking loose, but that a PART of hell will break loose... it'll be much harder to detect." - George Carlin

Evelyn Waugh

"It is a curious thing... that every creed promises a paradise which will be absolutely uninhabitable for anyone of civilized taste." - Evelyn Waugh